Those three words are said too much, denied enough. - Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
I am denying a lot of things I secretly know is true. DENYING--heck, I do my best at it. I secretly keep things certain for myself only. Yes, yes, be it in extreme gaiety or in deep angst and pain. I deny things only to keep myself half preserved and to keep things from being overrated. I keep my feelings to myself. I keep tears from falling down to my newly tanned cheeks and dry into my Nivea lip-balm
ed red lips. I try to keep my smiles and giggling all to myself for a moment and later on share it with the closest girl friends. I am practically a keep-it-all-to-myself kind of person, if not probably a share-it-only-with-the-few-closest-friends kind.
What I heard the day before yesterday was undeniably both an assurance to something. Assured me of what I've been secretly and desperately wishing about is all just a wish. I've been secretly wishing for it. But hey, if I don't get a wish doesn't mean all of my wishes won't come true.
What I heard also was an irksome take-note to me. A take-note which I totally understand...yet, a part of me still doesn't want to understand it.
Seriously, does he and she have to spell-it out clearly to me? No, I guess.
What happened the day before yesterday was all awkward, and partly painful. I really tried to not hear it. Sadly, in God's intricate will, I did. Even my black mp4 shuffled, playing Say Goodbye by Chris Brown blasted up to its full volume couldn't stop me from hearing it. I had my ears glued to the head set and pathetically, I still heard it. I even tried to talk to my friends in such loud
palengkera voice just to not hear it.
...but my mp4 blasted to its full volume and loud palengkera voice was no match from the overheard full-volumed truth.
No one is spelling
me out anything. I got the message clearly.
Those three words he had said to her was all clear. They couldn't deny the truth to the whole world, unlike me. They are very outspoken to the world with what they truly feel and I, on the other hand,is very elusive about my feelings.
They don't deny their love and gaiety and I deny the pain in their shared gaiety.
Labels: celebrities, love, music
